Mind-Hack #2 : Focus on a single task

The key of mindfulness is focus on a single task. If you let your mind wander to any thoughts, not only you will miss the moment but you could also slowed down the work or decrease the quality of the task.

Here’s the tips to gain focus when you’re mind starts to wanders :

  • Describe what you are doing in a vocal way, just like you’re video blogging yourself
  • If you’re study, read aloud what you’re studying

Be the champ of your own thought!

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Mind-Hack #1 : Observe Your Mind

Let’s say your mind is a wide space of office occupied by LOTS of thoughts. Your daily life would be jumping from one room of thought to others. Well, here’s the thing :

Observe your mind.

It’s the most basic and fundamental of mind well-being. Do recognise what you are thinking right now. In that way, you’re being aware that is only a THOUGHT and it comes and goes.

Be the champ of your own thought!

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A month with French Cinema

This month had been hard for all of us- travelling was banned and we are encouraged to stay at home. Somehow movie gives a great solution. Movie gets me into a different city and time, it’s like traveling without leaving your couch. I am into French cinema right now and it felt like a whole new world for me. I remember I felt into another country-related cinema and culture few years ago, but after spent sometime turns out I did not like it. It’s very human – if you get bored and no curiosity left, you left. I did study the language though. So it’s have benefit for me. I want to try neutral with French. I want to enjoy it, but not j’adore with it, because eventually you get bored. or maybe less interested. But I’ve been to France, visit Paris, Marseille, and Nice, and yes it was such a beautiful, magical, and once in a lifetime journey. Traveling by yourself to Europe at twenty something age is a rare chance, and I’m grateful for it. Throughout my enjoyment towards the movie I watched for the last month, I noticed some of the place in Paris that was very familiar. It’s like a rendezvous, maybe that’s why I like to watch it. And listening to their language is very pleasantly mysterious for unspoken french person like me. Here are some of the movies and series that I had the chance to watch this month.

Un Prophète (2009)

A thoughtful movie -Un Prophète

I’ve said it and I’m gonna say it again. This is my favourite movie period. Maybe it’s not the best movie ever made, but for me, it has a personal related topic which I consider very well describe: the freedom, the struggle, the hardship. It is a wake-up call movie for me. And you must be wondering how do I found this movie? It’s very simple. I was just scrolling around a blog that I’ve been followed lately and found a post regarding a celebration of ten-year post production of this movie by dvd release. I got interested then I watch it, just out of curiosity. I usually very selective in handpicked a movie to make a sure I watched a good one that I could possibly add to best movie list, but this time I was just messing around and thought this maybe a nice movie. I was wrong, it was a fantastic movie. Ever since watching it, I am looking for another movie with the actor in it (typical me) and another good French movie. So maybe it was just like me, you coincidentally read this post and decide to watch the movie. Go for it and tell me about it later.

Le Grand Voyage (2005)

Journey to Hajj – Le Grand Voyage (2005)

This is a very good movie. It’s heartbreaking in a very subtle way. I really like the ending scene- very rich, and sad, and hopeful – the scene where he puts away his head out of the window from the taxi was I think one of the most memorable movie scene ever. Go watch it.

Grand Central (2013)

Everyone needs solitude- Grand Central (2013)

I am curious about Tahar Rahim which is an excellent actor and Lea Seydoux , so I decided to watch this movie. But sadly it’s not on my best movie list. Well it is quite rare and different, and it is very French which had some bold scenes, but at the end I just don’t like it. But I do like the fact that the sound of the alarm of the factory rang five times it signals for a great danger. In the last scene into closing credits, the alarm five times and it pictures much the story of the movie – dangerous and desperate.

Happy Few (2010)

The unexplainable flour romance – Happy Few

This movie is typical French. It was very French in a way creating a non-boundaries of relationship. It is very strange in a French way, it’s very endearing. The story was quite pretty flat and I would recommend you to watch other movie than this one, unless you are very..very horny.

Les Hommes Libres (2004)

The Beauty of Islam – Les Hommes Libres (2004)

The movie Les Hommes Libres aka Free Men told about a non-France man who helped Musli community saved a Jew during the Nazi era. It is very beautifully told. I really like how it use The Great Mosque of Paris as a shooting place. I went there last summer before I watched the movie and it was very beautiful. The place was mysterious yet very calm, I went to the underground to take ablation before I pray and I felt a connection during my visit while having a Jama’ah Pray, because no matter where you are or where you’re come from, when we pray together, we are the same. It is very rare that a movie has this lots of length portraying Islam in a very good way. The actor was excellent as well. I really recommend this movie.

Synonymes (2019)

“You’re going to marry my girlfriend” – Stills from Synonymes

I like this movie. I like the modern vibe from this movie, it is a satire to a non-French person that wanted to be French. In the end the actor said ” You don’t know how lucky you are to be in French”.Still, in some ways, there were some awkward scenes that was meant deliberately to be artistic and meaningful – but somehow for me it’s just art deco. However I like the background from this movie, their dress, their conversations. It lives up when you really want to watch Paris in a modern vibe in an artistic movie.

Plan Coeur (2018/2019)

Close to Me -Stills from Plan Coeur

Go watch this series ( Netflix title : Hook-up Plan). I usually not into series, but this one is really good. It’s like French version of Friends. I like this type of series, it’s light, it’s lovable characters and gang of friends, and it’s modern, hype, without being too high – they give a standard working class character. I could make a whole new post about this series, but the point is go watch it. I used to wonder what all those beautiful man and woman talked about during in my Paris trip and this series pretty much solve the questions. It’s like me living another life while watching it – my imaginary Parisian life.

So that’s all so far, there are LOTS of great French movie out there, I know it and I could mention some titles. But somehow I managed to watch some of the less commercial and popular yet interesting from the above and you’re maybe want to watch it as well.

The Bases of Sins

They are pride, envy, anger, and desire.

Pride can be prevented through submission to God, envy through advice and offering it, anger through justice, and desire through devoting oneself to worship. If the base of pride falls, submission would be easy for him, if the base of envy falls, accepting advice and offering it would be easy, if the base of anger falls, justice and humility would be easy, and if the base of desire falls, patience, virtue, and worship would be easy for him. Removing mountains from their places would be easier than removing these four from whoever was afflicted with them, especially if they become solid bases, habit, and firm characteristics.

Envy in reality is a way of showing enmity toward God ; he hates the blessing of God that was granted to another human. Removing pride and envy is done through knowing God, acknowledging Him, being satisfied with Him, repenting to Him, removing all anger from his sou and knowing that it is not worthy to be angry nor seeking revenge. Whenever it feels something of anger, in exchange it will lose something from anger.

The cure to desire is true knowledge and learning that giving the soul all it desires is the greatest cause behind depriving and protecting from it is the best way to gain. The more you close to door to desires, the more you would be reaching the desires in the most perfect way.

Anger is like a lion, if its owner sets it free, it will eat him.

Desire is like a fire, if its owner starts it, it will burn him.

Pride is like fighting against a king to take his kingdom, if it not destroy you it will expel you.

Envy is like showing enmity to one who is more powerful than you.

Whoever overcomes his desire and anger, evil will depart from him and whoever’s desire and anger beat him, evil will stick to him.

Al Fawa’id : A Collection of Wise Sayings

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Life is a repetitive act of habit

You know that feeling when you felt like you had already felt everything in the world and you have nothing left to be excite?

Maybe it’s the sign when you’re going in your thirties. Before I’m going to sleep one night I just remember some of my past, my habitual past, it creates pattern. You know those feeling when you encountered some particular problems or issues. You know it very well. You know how you’ll react with that feeling. You know it very well. At that moment you just didn’t recognise it. But after connecting the dots, you realised that everything you did for the last twenty plus year was basically the same. I’m not really changing. We are not. What changes is just how we perceive those stimulus. Maybe because we encountered it multiple times we’d be more calm to some situations. We know what will happens next, or at least we could predict what will happens. Even the outcome did not exactly match our prediction, that’s okay, because you are not a stranger with surprises. You just have to go with it. The main idea basically the same, it’s something surprising, stressful, thrilling, whether it’s a a bad news, a duty, or an intervention, it’s something you did not expect. And you just have to remember that it’s not your first time. You have to tell yourself i’ve encountered this before so it’s just another wave. And then you just have to surf the wave.

And that night before bed I realise that all these times I was consumed by my own imagination. That sometime I will encountered that dream. But I need to wake up before even sleeping that those things will not happened. Because it’s too far.

Sometimes I dreamed I’m a French, born French, have French physique and friends and work and living in Paris. Never going to happen.

Sometimes I dreamed winning an oscar and working in movie industry. Most probably never going to happen.

And sometimes I dreamed I had a very good friend, that I could share everything. That we met on a busy metro or tube, initially a stranger then we met and match. But yes, this is not going to happen as well.

Sometimes I dreamed I could live in a foreign country for the rest of my life. Due to my circumstance that I’m a licensed doctor in my country, that will not going to happen again.

Then I ask myself that night, what do I want?

What do I really want ?

Then I don’t really want anything. I didn’t. I already surrender with all my false hope and let life just rolled. Like everybody did. Like most everybody did. I do have hope. But my hope is just for me being a better person. But not again I’m hoping in a special circumstances as a dream city, job, group of friends, intimate others, situation. Because expectation creates worry and fear and doubt and other destructive things.

Expectation leads us run from being grateful for what we have now.

So now I was thinking that we ourself creates happiness. But I don’t believe in that word anymore, happiness. It’s artificial.Saying I’m happy is saying I’m at that moment happy, it’s only a state of emotion. Runs ups and downs. I believe more in mindfulness. WE ourself creates mindfulness. Peace of mind.

For example, I’m happy after watching a good movie. Then I want to applicate my life with everything that occured in the movie. I want to be like in the movie. Or a series show. I enjoyed it and I crave for it, looking the actors, the interview, giggling through the whole archived search, but in two weeks, three weeks you’ll going to forget that. You’re going to move to another state of liking something else. Because I know myself, I’m easily interested with things but easily bored as well. That’s my habit of thought. Maybe some others as well. Maybe we all are. We’re moving from one thing to another thing. We crave for new stimulus. And I’m not yet talking about social media.

Life is a repetitive act of habit.

Now that I already know or felt everything, I tricked myself to be mindful in every thing that happened. Because I life for almost thirty years and I have experienced a lot of things. The next thirty years (If I have that many years) will be a repetitive act of response on internal or external stimuli. And now that I’m calm, I’m just gonna sit and enjoy the journey. Without expecting. With regrets. With grateful. With mindfulness. With myself.

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Things were getting intense lately. The whole self isolation thing is getting on everyone’s nerves. In my hospital, people were blaming others, people were giving some debatable instructions, it caused many chaotic event. I personally think that for some others that did not relate with treating corona infected patients, the most challenging case is to stay sane. To keep up clarity during at home. I think the changes occur in my office were never happened before. It creates history. It was something new that we need to be brave on our choices. But to be mindful is not an easy task. It requires lots of practice to become eventually a habit.

I am getting to know one or two thing in life, like the limit of our fear, and that sometimes if we’re really able to be bold enough to do anything, we could push to the limits and suddenly there will be no limit. So what I want to achieve here is that being mindful is a hard task , but workable.

I am drifting..

For knowing that I am here and know nothing about my future or next plan.

I am enjoying the sun that still rises daily.

And I’m grateful enough for that.

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Sources for Study From Home

Here’s some sources for your study during the self-isolate. I know that doctors can not work from home, we have to work on shifts on the hospital, but we minimise the study lecture on hospital class, so we should had some study time as well at home. Here’s some source that I could collect for increasing my fun learning study time, if you’re a little bit bored with book lately.

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  1. Online webinar or conference call study

There are some online webinars out there that you could join. It will trigger you to stay active like in class, but you have to make sure to match the time appointment due to different country timezone. If you’re having difficulty to match the time zone, make one yourself with your peers! It will create an amazing atmosphere and let your brain active yet a good way to say hello to your friends as well. Make sure you are on the same time appointment, I’ve tried this and it’s an amazing technique to study.

2. Youtube lecture

It’s amazing that if you use it wisely there are some online lectures on youtube. For ophthalmology student or anyone who’s interested in ophtho, here are some channels that worth to watch :

  • Moran CORE — it has a huge collection of lectures, and every lectures represented with slides, so you’ll feel like joining a seminar- only this time you could wear your pyjamas
  • Cybersight – it has great source of studying, and lots of surgical videos – if you’re looking tips for increasing your surgical ability with adding the theory then it’s the channel
  • Tim Root – he’s like on of the most charming professor in ophtho, he explains everything so clearly and easy so we could understand difficult topics
A lecture on Cybersight channel Youtube

3. Collection of cases

Here’s a good atlas of cases that you could check on if you’re interested about eye, I think it’s a very good way to study from cases – so it will keep you active.

4. Active searching on google image

Why google image? Because it contains lots and LOTS of pictures that you are asking for so you could have a quick visual memory, and google image will show some important slides for points and notes about what you’re asking for. So during your study session, it’s best to prep some google image in front of you.

So, basically you need to give some variety on your study session and be more interactive so it will increases your motivation for studying at home. Cheers!

Doubts : Need Help

I’m in doubt. Again.

Is this the right path for me?

Am I dong it right ?

I was currently on a webinar about cataract surgery and I just don’t really interested in it. I don’t know, I like all the other parts of my field, including the surgery. But this particular surgery did not lift me up. Maybe it’s connected with my previous history that during my cataract practice and evaluation that I’m not good enough, and I keep blaming my visualisation during microsurgery, and I could blame myself that I probably did not practice hard enough, or maybe because I don’t find a good coach or teacher to teach me. It probably due to lots of factors. I do not want to lose hope, all my friends and family supports me, but somehow there is always this doubt that creeps me in about my future career.

I know that there are lots of other choices of subspecialties that I could took, maybe I’m just not into the cataract part, and that’s pretty much okay- but realising that most of your patients will be a cataract surgery, what can I do? I need to master it, at least I need to be able to do the surgery. I’m in my third year and I haven’t done my own cataract surgery yet from start to finish. It’s crippling me.

There are lots of choices of specialty that I could work of, such as non surgical field which requires lots of thinking ( and I am a huge thinker and observer), but here I am..doing this field. Not knowing what to do or expect. One of my senior told me that we can’t do everything, but I remember one of my best friend said we can do everything. There’s a lot of counterintuitive in my thought, that’s why I’m scared of myself. These doubts won’t keep me going. At the most part it hits me, make me panicked and told to my parents and we had a fight. I told my friends and they’re bored with my story, with why not quit then, but well – you can’t just quit, especially in my third year. I asked some of a good mindfulness guru I knew from youtube and he advise me to keep going.

But these doubts.. this little self-manipulating that hits me sometimes. I wonder, is it just me- or maybe is it true that I’m not that capable of handling this microsurgery things?

If you have some advice, please do comment. I will take your comments gracefully.

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One Last Look

The Social distancing and self-isolation proves some positive results in our mindfulness if we’re doing it correctly.

We enjoy what things we could do in a minimal setting and we can’t be more grateful enough about we have. The simple food that we could create with the minimal amount of ingredients in the fridge.

Talking with people at home and cherish more that they are there, just because we are social creature. We need to talk at others. Sometimes we manage to be exhausted by people’s chat but turned out the more amount you spend time with yourself, the more it became depressing.

And people that exist in your home during this lockdown must be the most precious people on earth for you.

And you might want to look at them one last look, talk with compassion, because you just want to be grateful for the existence of people around you. Some people isolates by themselves and that could be more depressing.

Take a one last look, before all the madness in the world start to choke you again, embrace this little moment of togetherness.

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The Sky is Falling

What the Pandemic had taught me

I think we all agree to call these periods as dark days, where it will be part of the history in the future, that we are part who faced one of the worse outbreak in the history of mankind. Every day the rate is increased and we are incapable of doing miracles unless we’re stopping what we are doing right now. Staying at home. Social distancing. It became the “millenial” outbreak where information spreads vaguely within seconds. It fears creep up vastly for some people, but for some they distract themselves with some entertainment and the outbreak jokes. In this time of events, the situation at my hospital where I worked became chaotic. Not only every of paramedics working paranoid but some giving hate and stigmatise others. It became the hunger game when ultimately you label someone into suspect or positive or unknown, and it became the game of prey. But in other point of view, lots others care for each others. Right now is never about a single person, it’s about community. It’s about what you can bring to the community. No matter how small it is. And I think, this could help, at least to survive for the near future. But if we want to take a pause a second and reflect about what can we learned from all this outbreak? We are asked to stay at home but do we actually think about these damages that actually created by human itself with all these consequences?

Well, for me personally we are demanded to think. To think more than how we protect ourself tomorrow but to think deeper that these are warning from our Creator. It is very easy for God to diminished some of the human creatures in the world, God creates a very tiny microscopic creature and we are panicking already. We are losing in so many ways. But this is not a fight. If we are living in the periods where Prophets were still alive, our story would be called as one of the horrific reminder story that deserved a disaster to sweep up human. We’ve been ungratefully raping our technologies, transportation, human contacts without thinking further.

Alas I would like to point that we human are most definitely not ready for the doomsday, and yet here we are closer to it. What if it we only have some time left? What will we do? Some of us danced, some of us sing, some of us trying to keep productive, some of us trying “to make the most of it” or “making things right”, some of us pray, some of us asked for forgiveness, but mostly, most of us forget. We forget we are created. We are programmed by society to remember that we are allowed to do what we want because we are free, we are allowed to voice what we think because we are free, but here’s the truth- we are not free. Sadly we are not. Instead we are tested. And yes we are positively not ready for the big day. That is when we are labelled, heaven or hellfire. Easy for God. Not easy for us. Because it’s permanent. We are small human being that run from the fate that we are tested by creating our bubble thoughts about our daily problem. But knowing the pandemic began, suddenly our little worries stop. Our survival instinct reacts, are we going to survive this? Yes, we are. Indeed we are optimistic human. But what if this is a little preparation by God to face the big day? We are like in every exam we might ever take, we are never ready. The preparation is the whole life. But sadly we don’t want to think about it because we are not reminded by it daily. Well, here’s the reminder. These dark days. Where we are all hiding under the roof. In the middle of the night where the starry skies look at our earth and laughed, let us think. Are we believing in the right thing? Are your good deeds will be counted to the right prop or wasted unevenly? Or do you even have good deeds afterall? It’s that time where all the movies are nonsense, the music are unimportant, the big names in the history of mankind are no longer special. It’s that time where after all we thought about community, we forgot to save our own little life and regret everything. That time is ticking and we are all on the wrong train.

22 March 2020, lockdown on earth

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