Hi. it’s me, again.
It’s been a while.
So the reason why I’m starting to write again, is well, because I had a long sleepless night started with a mild vertigo after my traffic-stuck driving with a coffee in the late afternoon , a parade of watching amelia’s chicken shop date- which led me to recognize more footballers than I ever been in my whole life, woke up at 1 am then can’t continue sleeping till like 4am. I woke up with a very cloudy day and that brings the London vibe, so I decided to run, instead of just curling on my bed although it’s a weekend. So why run? I was remembering my last trip to London way before the covid, and I was remembering one day I ran through the park near my hotel and into like a hill – I forget the name of the hill, with my friend from New Zealand that I met in the hostel. We had so much fun- we were healthy and being productive in early days. And with that in mind, I- who were petrified about my next steps in life- was kept thinking, like a loud static headbang during my days, if I were misfortune to live in this neighborhood due to any specific reasons – one of the biggest issue is my medical work license, which led me to work only in my country – and the other specific reasons- the virus, duh- and can’t go to London for any time being, why don’t I make the London- ish myself in here? I was wandering alone in one of shopping centre before I had the long-way driving, and I was like panicking myself because I was alone- and I felt like weird because what happened if I met someone I know and ask me with whom I went and they know I was alone, they would be feeling pity with me, but nothing happened- just like any other million problems that I created in my head, nothing actually happened. So I was had this epiphany, it’s all the same while in London or in the city myself I am currently in, if you don’t enjoy yourself, you won’t enjoy the city as well. So, let’s just say I want to take the effort for applying fellowship in London, or a PhD but my main motive is basically just so I could live in London or any other interesting cities I had in mind, but that’s nonsense if turns out when I arrive at the city then you feel empty and lonely, and other people were busy – or act busy- with anything else, and that led me for being a sad stranger in a big city, although now I still also feel like a sad stranger in a big city as well. So, here I am now, wondering, If I were in London in a saturday morning, what would I do? I would run in the middle of cloudy weather with my black adidas trainers hat I just bought, I would write with an ice coffee in my hand, I would like, yeah, doing things that I like, just so I enjoy myself. And when I’m enjoying myself, people will accustomed to me being enjoying myself as well. I was like holding a lot past few years, you know, I will post about that in other post, but for now, I want to enjoy myself, because the only one that know it best about it- is me.